i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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