when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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