I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize