Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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