also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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