Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
