@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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