i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This is the high leading the old right now
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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