if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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