the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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