If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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