you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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