Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my poor anus
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
