As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
