ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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