We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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