I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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