I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
