Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
