this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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