so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
