fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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