Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize