he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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