smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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