We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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