sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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