someone get that fucking seahorse.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
