have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
