I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
