So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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