I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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