I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
