seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
