no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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