Your face is a jimmy john
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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