Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
