I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Randomize