when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
