she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
