I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
