My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Randomize
