How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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