well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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