Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
