Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
