I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
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i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
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Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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