You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
