is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
