And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
honey bunches of taint.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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