She is in my trunk
Pappa wants mamma naked
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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