Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
