Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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