I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
"it" just moved
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
