I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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