I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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