If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
