god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You were trust falling into bushes
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
