omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
